**The free an unmerited favor of God as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.**
More often than not I have a difficult time convincing myself that I am deserving of anything good that comes to me. I am a sinner. I identify with that label. What I’m trying to change is my acceptance of this thing called Grace that is offered to me by the Lord through Jesus Christ every day of my life. Most days I go about my routine giving no thought to the possibility of Grace. It just seems unattainable, doesn’t seem to apply to me. I feel broken and unrepairable. The overwhelming scope of what needs to be fixed and forgiven in my life is insurmountable. That knowledge keeps me stuck in “just getting by” for as long as I am here on this earth. I don’t wake up early. I don’t put on clothes and makeup. I don’t go outside unless I absolutely have to. I don’t focus. I don’t fight.
Or rather… I didn’t. Something inside of me sort of lit up a few weeks ago. Something said “This is not who you were meant to be.” All of these traumas and mistakes and failures give you something to go on. Something to teach.They give you something to rise above. Something to fight against or fight for. How many people have been broken and healed and come out with a story to tell? How many people have inspired through overwhelming odds? Who says you can’t start over at 40 years old? How many people of all ages have received God’s Grace and started over? I read and hear about it all the time. I saturate my life with these kinds of stories. I believe it for others. Believing it for myself is where I have remained stuck up until this point.
It is not 24 hour a day, 7 day a week transformation by any means. But it is a small whisper in my soul that is persistent; that I can hear when I get quiet and listen. I wonder how many others are out there that have to put a reminder in their calendar for a half an hour of quiet time. I actually need to hear that alarm every day and read those words to remain steadfast. And when I get that reminder, I need to go to another room, put in my CD’s, open my bible, and process. This is the key, I think. To envelope your thoughts and your words, your heart and your soul in the knowledge of Jesus and the Grace that you have not earned, but are freely given! Ephesians 2:8 brings this process into my heart. There is nothing that I can do to earn this. No amount of self-loathing or self-berating is going to make it more likely that I will receive this gift, for it is not my doing, but God’s.
Ephesians 2:8… For by Grace you have been saved through faith and this is not your doing; it is the gift of God.
Today I would just like to extend my appreciation and adoration to a couple of women and their blogs that have given enormous encouragement toward “staying in the Word”. They are:
Time Warp Wife